NYC Private School Purity Test

The Private School Test has historically served as a segue from O-week to true private school life. It's a voluntary opportunity for O-week groups to bond, and for students to track entitled experiences throughout school. This is not a bucket list. Have fun with this!

Complained about the school food?
Cheated on your home work?
Conspired with enough classmates to “forget” about the homework?
Snuck onto the school’s elevator?
Cheated on a test without getting caught?
Cheated on a test, gotten caught and had it stricken from your record?
Shit on the quality of your school despite it being top rated in the country?
Lied about or inflated your service hours to meet the yearly requirement?
Know/are a student that committed a hate crime/harassed another student with no consequences?
Rolled up your uniform’s skirt or removed the tie?
Used a school bathroom to film a Tik Tok?
Filmed a “someone had to be the expensive sibling” Tok Tok?
Resents the idea of corporate America but will likely end up at Goldman Sachs or the equivalent?
Leaves common spaces messy/doesn’t put chairs back because you know someone else will do it?
Are a legacy student at a top rated college/university?
Wondered if your principal is misusing school funds?
Had your parents email a teacher?
Had your parents email administration?
Complained that a teacher didn’t give you a study guide?
Never seriously cared about your academics?
Never seriously cared about your academics until when it mattered for college?
Secretely confident that you'll get into a good school despite being a mediocre (B+/A-) student?
Attended a precollege program at an Ivy League school?
Hired a tutor to help with your classes?
Hired a test prep tutor (ISEEs, Regents, APs)?
Hired a college test prep tutor (SAT/ACT)?
Paid or planning to pay a college “counseling/student development” company?
Successfully coerced a teacher into cancelling or moving HW?
Successfully coerced a teacher into moving a quiz?
Successfully coerced a teacher into cancelling a quiz?
Successfully coerced a teacher into moving a test?
Successfully coerced a teacher into cancelling a test?
Won’t have to get loans/scholarships for undergraduate college?
Have a trust fund?
Have a Hamptons house?
Have an “upstate NY house” because you “hate the people in the Hamptons”?
Have a skiing house?
Had a nanny/babysitter/caretaker that wasn’t a relative?
Have a live-in nanny?
Have a chef?
Have a driver?
Have a boat?

Learned how to drive a boat before a car?

Have a yacht?

Have a box/premium seating at any stadium because of yours or a friend’s parent’s company?

Have an Equinox/luxury gym membership bankrolled by a parent?

Been promised a vehicle/boat for your birthday?

Actually received a vehicle/boat for your birthday?

Used your building’s amenities for a party?

Been horse back riding or race car driving?

Flown in first class?

Regularly fly in first class or business class?

Flown in someone’s private jet?

Flown in your private jet?

Flown in a rented helicopter?

Flown in your helicopter?

Have a hedge fund or corporate lawyer parent?

Have a parent who has highly suspicious business practices?

Have a parent that’s gone to prison for white collar crimes?

Paid for something with ApplePay through a parent’s card

Skiing is a favorite hobby?

Traveling is a favorite hobby?

Said that traveling is a favorite hobby of yours, shamelessly?

You regularly travel internationally? (at least 1x/year)

Missed a day of school for a concert or traveling?

Have gone on a summer student travel or "service" expedition? (TeenTour, Putney)

Met someone/are someone with a billionaire parent or grandparent?

Know/are the child of a celebrity?

Thrown a party in someone’s penthouse?

Thrown a party in an AirBnB, left it a mess and just paid the cleaning fee?

Stolen liquor from your parent’s bar/liquor cabinet?

Destroyed an antique/expensive artwork at a party?

Used SnapMap satellite to see how big someone’s house is?

Looked at “future houses/luxury apartments” during class?

Come to school high?

Vaped in school?

Come to school drunk/hungover?

Consumed alcohol in school?

Payed for substance abuse products with a parent’s money?

Have a GreenLight card?

Been out to dinner with friends and used a parent’s card/money to pay?

Lost/damaged a family heirloom at school?

Lost a set of AirPods/AirPod pros before?

Lost a set of AirPods/AirPod pros and your parent’s paid for the replacement?

Had an allowance?

Still have an allowance instead of a part-time or summmer job?

First job was as a camp counselor at the day camp near your Hamptons/upstate house?

A parent encouraged you to land your first job (you didn’t pursue it on your own)?

Worked for a family member’s company?

Once said that you want to work an hourly job for “the experience”?

Have an Apple device paid for by your parents?

Have a exotic/expensive hobby that’s been bankrolled by your parents? (Ex. racing, arts)

Play country club tennis, tennis or golf?

Play a niche sport? (fencing, ice skating, gymnastics etc)

Encountered a fellow student at a resort/on a vacation unplanned?

Gone on an international trip with a friend?

Stayed at a 5 star hotel or resort?

Gone on the school’s study/semester abroad program? (not on scholarship)
Family/parents have donated/are donating money to your dream college?
Snap or raise your hand to get the waiter's attention?

NYC Private School Purity Test

Your score: